There comes to a point in each of our lives where we attempt to walk backwards. What can we experience again? How can we be that person that we once were? I think there are several reasons why that trek is a circle to nowhere. First we’ve moved on; meaning every experience we lived is a result of where we are at the moment. Where we are today is where we need to be. Where we were is where we needed to be. Our moments of the day are a collaboration of how we are doing mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually and our experiences combine where we are, and the situations around us – including our family and friends (no exceptions either to the strangers and situations that affect our day regularly or randomly). Combining the moments of the present with the ghosts of the past will only confuse the forward journey as our emotions, our body’s, our spirit and mind are no longer in sync with the inner story of the past.
So when we yearn to go back to situations, we need to ask ourselves what we are yearning for at the moment. If we go back, maybe we had less responsibility and more freedom in our movements and choices. So is it possible that we are simply overwhelmed by what we have to endure as a responsible adult? This is another reason why we are unable to go back to other days; our responsibilities are changing through each year, and with responsibility comes new growth within ourselves and our surroundings. Or are we simply missing those that used to walk the journey with us? It’s hard to embrace the truths that not everyone will continue the walk through life with us at all times; sometimes those walking with us are only for a small period; to fill what is needed for the moment or to share an experience together. Our journeys will always intertwine with those around us but like branches we will always be spreading to reach new destinations.
What do we expect when we trek backwards? Most commonly, we anticipate experiencing life as it was, yet the people in our lives have gone through changes as we have. Responsibility, growth, and personality changes the best of us. Many times the people we want to experience the “past” with, they are people we haven’t changed with. Relationships, careers, new friendships, children and new found interests tend to separate even the closest spirits. It’s even true for the spirits that have gone through life changes together and kept the friendships strong. Taking a journey backwards only confuses the gifts of the present. Do we really have much in common with the journey walker of the past?
Making the frequent trips to the past brings to light our discontentment of the present. We are no longer finding peace in our current situations or relationships. We may never find the peace we are seeking as long as we embark in a backward journey. Finding internal balance cannot be sought through our past words or actions as they simply don’t reflect the circumstances of today.
With all this said, there can be beauty discovered in trekking backwards with the right intentions. For instance, our memories of yesteryears can bring hope, encouragement, and love to where we are today. We must remember that who we were is how we got to our destination today. We simply can’t relive past experiences with contentment but remembering is where the balance of contentment is found. It sometimes can be hard to fathom that our loved ones will not always be on journey and our mortality can become in question. This is natural but can keep us stagnated in our thoughts of the present day. If we don’t embrace our current destination then we’ll never embark in new explorations, or see the new possibilities.
So what do we do from here? Look back in fondness, embrace the moment of right now and look forward to new possibilities. Our past may not be fond to us, but look at the grander picture…you are alive because of it. You are stronger from the experience because it’s the past and you survived! That strength will only take you forward. Trek into that!