A STORY OF PEACE:
A very dear friend of mine has a beautiful daughter who has been using Crystal Meth for many years. I have had the honor of knowing this young woman since she was a small child. At the age of 5 “Yoda” was full of life, intelligence and caring although she could be somewhat demanding, difficult and unpredictable.
As she grew up I observed the many changes that were happening in her life. Her mother and father ended up divorced and Yoda seemed to be confused and lost. Her loyalties were split between her mother and father, and she seemed to be having difficulty making friends and deciding where she fit in this life. In spite of this, Yoda was gifted in many ways, including her gift of being able to manipulate and turn situations into chaos to work in her favor.
Several years ago I found out that she was using drugs as a means to fit in and escape a reality which she did not want to be a part of. The reality of divorce and change! Her mother approached me and asked me for some assistance. I did family counseling with Mom, Dad and Yoda, and many times I just wanted to give up on Yoda. I ended up taking my work home with me because Yoda came to the town where I was working to spend time with myself and my partner. She wanted to detox herself from the drugs. I understood then that the only thing I could do was ensure that she continued to breath, sleep, and ensure that her medical needs were taken care of should she need help until she was once again ready to tackle her world.
She was and still is willful, using dishonesty as her ticket to getting what she wants, blaming others for predicaments that she gets herself into, and at many times is not a pleasant human being to be around. Over the years I have asked the Universe, Creator and God for assistance so that she can find the beauty that lies within her.
One encounter that I had with Yoda was totally amazing. She, her mother and I, went on a road trip so that Yoda could prepare to attend modeling school. Yoda told us that she had been clear of all drug usage, had graduated from high school and wanted to step into the world of modeling to make both her world and the world of others, a more beautiful place to be in.
Physically, Yoda is very beautiful and mysterious looking. She is 5’8” tall, weighs 90 pounds, and seems to be confident in what she wants to do. We all believed that she was clean and ready to step out into the world and beautify it. Our reality changed the week prior to our departure when we learned that Yoda had not quit doing drugs but, that she in fact had only learned to manage her behaviors in a more acceptable manner to cover her drug usage. I felt torn and was ready to cancel the trip, but when I talked to her mother I heard the urgency and fear in her mother’s voice and readily agreed that we would still go on the trip.
“After all, I had been through this detoxification process with her before and I innocently decided that he mother and I would be there only to assist her on her journey into adulthood while offering our love and support”.
Within the first day I learned that this was not the way it was going to be!
Yoda, who chose to come off the drugs, was going through some pretty serious detoxification. She refused to get out of bed, slept, whined, complained, blamed, yelled, fought and created total chaos for herself and everyone who was around her. Yoda holds the belief that the world will have to understand her, the misfortune that is within her life, her lack of good health, and tolerate her behaviors while her needs are being taken care of. Her priority in life was always getting high and staying high and with her mother and I with her this was not possible and she had chosen to be clean.
The first few days we got her out of bed, put up with her abuse mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, while Yoda was attempting to fulfill her dream of being a model! Finally, after I had been hit by a flying pillow, almost knocked off of my feet by her flying feet, being verbally abused and sworn at, I knew I was about to totally lose my patience and my temper! I did, and I picked up the flying pillow, threw it back onto the bed where she was still lying, face hidden under the covers and got into a verbal sparring match with her. Her mother sat back quietly listening with tears in her eyes. Yoda accused me of not listening to her and I quickly realized that this approach was not working, just as it had never worked in my life.
I let Yoda know that I needed to leave, and that I would be ready and willing to listen to her after I had a time out and when she was willing to talk with me.
I went outside to a picnic table and quietly asked for some assistance, from Creator to help me deal with Yoda and this situation.
I knew that I required some kind of guidance to find an inner strength and peace and put this situation back together.
As I sat eating a cracker quietly a small duck appeared in front of me and began to beg for the cracker. I became totally immersed in that moment with the duck and around the corner came four more ducks. I sat lovingly playing with all five of them and suddenly I realized that the guidance and help I had asked for had miraculously appeared!
Yoda loves animals, and I called her Mother to come and watch the antics of the ducks as we played. Within moments Yoda had got out of bed, moved outside and started feeding the ducks, laughing and playing along with her mother and I. The ducks assisted us to resolve the situation, and Yoda and I began to talk. I began to really listen to Yoda, both to what she was and what she was not saying. She was right, I had not been listening to her. I had only heard the words that she spoke. I had neglected to understand everything that she felt that she could not say. As we both became more open a peace came over me and I then knew what true peace was all about. It comes from me!
Thank you Yoda, Creator, and the Ducks for this most astonishing lesson!
A follow up:
Yoda is still struggling with her drug use, has found out that she has had two heart attacks, (one while we were on our trip) and her pancreas is not functioning properly. She has difficulty eating, is losing more weight and has developed an ulcer. I pray daily and ask Creator for assistance so that she too may discover that peace comes from within her and radiates to the outside of her. She did not become a model and believes today that this will not be a reality for her because of what she has done to her body and mind through drug use.
Yoda has registered in University and hopes to eventually help others. She is still a drug addict, sabotaging any movement forward through always having to find her fix before she moves forward with anything in her life. May you be happy and well Yoda!
I Love You my Friend