COMPONENTS OF SELF ESTEEM
Trust, Self Nurturing, Autonomy, and Intimacy
Trust starts early in life and is based on how we are received into the world. We learn to trust ourselves and begin to have a realistic trust of others. We begin to develop confidence in the self’s ability to choose others who are safe or who will not injure or exploit us.
- Self Nurturing is born of trust. We learn how to be caretakers of ourselves. Self nurturing is an essential ingredient of self esteem.
- Autonomy comes from mastery. We work through necessary dependencies to a growing independence. We find interdependence when we can separate ourselves from others around us and yet retain vital connections to others.
- Identity Grows. We begin to know who we are and who we are becoming. In each stage of our life, self-esteem undergoes change and growth. We feel more solid as our identity grows.
- Intimacy develops from identity and the need for connection. It is the ability to relate closely and to know the limits of closeness. We yearn to lose ourselves in love and yet we need to retain our own separate essence.
Healthy self esteem involves all of the above elements. If we lose those characteristics or never develop them, there is a significant absence of self esteem. Low self esteem affects our body, mind, emotions and spirit. The creation of these characteristics takes understanding what they are and working on them.
MY DECLARATION OF SELF ESTEEM
I am me.
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. There are persons who have some parts like me, but no one adds up exactly like me. Therefore everything that comes out of me is authentically me because I alone chose it.
I own everything about me…..my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all it’s thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the images of all they behold; my feelings, whatever they may be……anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement; my mouth, and all the words that come out of it, polite, sweet or rough, correct or incorrect; my voice, loud or soft; and all my actions, whether they are to others or to myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and others aspects that I do not know. But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for the solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.
However, I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me. This is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time.
When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting. I can discard that which is unfitting, and keep that which proved fitting and invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me. I am me and I am O.K.
ONE OF THE BUILDING BRIDGES TO SELF ESTEEM
CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE
If a child lives with criticism
He learns to condemn
If a child lives with hostility
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule
He learns to be shy
If a child lives with encouragement
He learns confidence.
If a child lives with shame,
He learns to feel guilty
If a child lives with tolerance
He learns to be tolerant
If a child lives with praise
He learns to appreciate
If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.
WHAT MESSAGES WERE GIVEN TO YOU AS A CHILD THAT LOWERED YOUR SELF ESTEEM?
Pick one of these messages and write a POSITIVE affirmation to assist you to change the message.
You will never be successful at anything you do!
A Positive Affirmation:
I am successful with what I choose to do! I am open and ready to manifest this into my life now.
MY AFFIRMATION IS:
Peace, love, light and blessings, as you move forward today feeling positive about yourself and your world!