When I was young my mother gave me a copy of a Little Golden Book called The Bunny Book, which was later published as Walt Disney’s Grandpa Bunny. In this book many of my beliefs and understanding about life and death were confirmed. When I received this book, my Grandparents were old, unwell and preparing for the end of their lives on earth (which they referred to as death). This book provided me with some answers, comfort and safety knowing that although my Grandparents were physically passing on, their spirits would live on through everything around me. I just needed to think, feel, experience, believe, and they could still be near in spirit. I never look at an Easter Egg, leaf, flower, shadow, colourful insect, bird, animal or sunset without remembering this little book, my Grandparents and all of the people who have physically left here, but who are with me in spirit. The lessons and beliefs I developed as I read the book stayed with me and come forward to the now, anytime I am dealing with confusion around life and death. 

So, many years later as I sat with my mother, helping her to leave this earth and travel into spirit, many thoughts were cascading through my brain and I felt confused. I was watching, observing, and listening to my thoughts and feelings in my attempt to understand what I needed to do, to learn and to understand from this experience.  Even though I had encountered many losses prior to this loss, I felt helpless when she died but somehow I knew that this loss would create a monumental understanding and change in me, although I had no idea what the understanding or change would be.  She was not afraid to die, only afraid that she may not have done everything that she set out to do on this earth.  When we talked about what was left for her to do she smiled and made the decision that she had missed nothing.  I then knew that she was ready to journey forward into the realm of spirit, to once again meet with my father, and with all of those energies that had once been a part of her life here on earth.  This was, and is, her belief and her knowing.
The last time I saw my mother alive, she was in a coma, and as I talked to her, I said goodbye.  I knew from personal experience from being very ill and spending much time outside of my body and observing my body, and all of those who had come to visit me both physically and spiritually, that my mother was still very present in spirit and was busy safeguarding her body as it still functioned.  Her spirit had not yet totally abandoned her physical body.
My sister and I had spent many hours with our mother through her illness and we were mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained.  We knew that we needed to get some rest, so I took my mother’s hand and I said goodbye.  I let her know that we would be going home to get some sleep, so that she could go HOME and accomplish all of the things that were left for her to do both on this earth and outside of this earth as she knew it in physical form.  Her hand moved in slight recognition of the moment and as I left the hospital, I intuitively knew that I would not see my mother alive in her physical body again.  I was relieved to know that her transition would be clear, pain free, and easy because she knew that she was ready to leave.  When we received the call early the next morning that my mother had died peacefully, I was not surprised.  The universe honoured her wish to not have anyone from her family with her when she left.  She did not want us to go through any pain when she left as she knew she would find peace in her transition.
One thing I know without a doubt is that my world has definitely been a better place because of my mother’s presence in it.
My mother was a gifted human being during her life here on earth and is still a gifted energy that is present in my life in spirit.  She has a strong knowledge of life, here and beyond, and she seems to understand and value life from a somewhat different, worldly and unconventional perspective.
A few months after her death, my step daughter, Kisa, who is gifted in receiving messages from those who have gone before us, gave me the message that my mother had come to her and said that she had a message for me that would come to me through “the type”.  I was skeptical but sat down at a computer……I felt a rush of energy……a slight draft moving past me…..I became disoriented and slightly dizzy….and my fingers unconsciously began typing the following message to me:


in your

uniqueness.We are all

created out of love, understanding and purpose.

The purpose is within your grasp,although not at the level at

which you are now functioning. Your quest to move through life is now

awakening, and as you awaken, your purpose and mission will be clear

to you.  Be in the worldand love all thatmakes up this world through

learning to love yourself and what you have to offer to yourself

and others. The road is clear, and the pitfallsare only created

through fear, uncertainty and lack of guidance from those

who have gone before you. You are all guided in

your quest for life and in the exciting

journey into your

true existence.


When this message was done, I looked at it in disbelief.  The language was not the language that my mother would use, it was definitely not my language, but the message was profound and simple.  My thoughts began to dis create this message as quickly as it had come to me.  I experienced a feeling of joy intuitively knowing that I had contact with my mother who had loved me unconditionally.  This was immediately followed by a feeling of extreme fear based on doubt, believing that the rest of the world think I had “lost it”.  I moved into the flight and fight responses which kept me running from the outside and fighting from the inside, even though intuitively I knew the message was true, for me, and was from my mother.  My body tensed when I thought of how I would present this piece of information to my family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances.  Emotionally, I knew that the message was one of hope and love for all of humanity.  I sought mentors, teachers and support from many walks of life to validate what I knew, my state of mind and my confidence.  I kept the message, overcame the fear, and began to realize how little I actually understood about how we humans work.  At this time, I had worked with people in the helping field for many years.  The first question that I asked myself after this happened was: “How on earth can I explain this to anyone”?  My preconceived assumption was that other people would think I had gone off the deep end, over the edge, or that I had totally lost my grasp on reality.  For a few days I decided to completely ignore the message, and didn’t consciously think about it, but soon I knew that this was only the beginning.  Today, in this moment, I honor this beginning and my mother, who assisted me throughout my life on the physical plane and provided me with the introduction and understanding of the messages sent, gifted to me by those who have gone before me, who are me.

This became what I call the beginning of my journey to the Silent Knowledge of the Channel Within.
Peace, love, light and blessings to you from me and all those who have gone before me who are me!




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